5 Things Every Girl Ought To Know

Sunday morning and I get a message from the big sis. It was one of those loooooooooong WhatsApp forwards. I sighed so hard. I don’t do too well with forwards. But she insisted that I read it. Thank goodness she did.

I went on to discover that it was written by a man. So much insight was given into the way we Christian women think and operate when it comes to relationships. I must say I was very surprised and impressed. I had to share what SuperChampInc had to say.

Now, I am not one to go on about decoding men to understand what they think a lá Steve Harvey. I am an advocate for becoming the person Christ wants you to be on this life journey, of being the best you you can be. And with the numerous dating advice thrown around, it is refreshing to get such a gem of a Christian perspective on it. Here are a few takeaways that really resonated from the article:

1. Searching for Jesus Himself

Looking for the perfect man is something I blame on them Disney movies we watched as little girls. The search for a ‘saviour’ to rescue us from ourselves or our situations. No person can save us. That’s why Christ came to die for us and that’s who should hold that title in our lives. So “instead of looking for perfection, look for someone who is striving towards perfection”.

2. Not caring to prince your man

If any of you have watched ‘Something New‘, you would know about ‘the list’ and Kenya having to learn to ‘let go and let flow’. Lists. We women are incredible at those especially when it comes to the kind of men we want and how we ought to be treated as princesses. Trouble is, we forget that we too need to treat them as princes, we need to compliment and appreciate them too. They are not there to be our slaves.

3. Liking to be pursued… not caught

Playing hard to get has caused many an affliction for our poor brothers. Looking at the women in the Bible like Ruth – we ought to stop and think about our modern day methods in comparison to theirs. I love what the writer says here: “Just as you are a gift to him, he is also a gift to you! If a man is pursing you, do not run him away with games.” *cues ‘Quit Playing Games With My Heart‘*

4. Being too picky!

Now ain’t that the truth! What I loved about this pointer is that women don’t necessarily want the man that God has purposed. We are so good at picking out a man that we want and asking God to ‘make it happen’ for us. “If he is not giving you your hearts desires, it may be because you are not ready to handle your heart’s desire. It may be because what you desire is not desirable!” God doesn’t play like that!

5. Wanting Boaz while remaining Delilah

Finding flaws in any and every man and not realising that we too are so flawed. No one is perfect and truth is, maybe that guy won’t come along because “they are not willing to ‘settle’ either” – it’s not all about us. Relationships are a two-way street! BOOM!

I encourage you all to read the article in full. And to the gents reading this, he’s also got you covered with ‘5 Reasons Why Many Christian Guys Remain Single‘ 😉

 

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We’re all equal… Some more than others

“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” – Animal Farm

Cliques and crews. Circles and memberships. Clubs and societies. These establishments form often to seclude and segregate. Isolate and intimidate.

George Orwell articulated it so well in his satirical masterpiece, ‘Animal Farm’. That is exactly the state of the human race.  Proponents of freedom are so quick to fight for equal rights and yet so easily step through the doors of the VIP section.

Perhaps I have never had enough money to understand the importance or joy of exclusivity in this manner. Maybe I am yet to be enlightened. The exclusivity I speak of need not be confined to clubs and societies. I speak of this on the very basis of human interaction. “No new friends” and “You can’t sit with us” are thrown around so freely on the interwebs – terms that highlight a level of ‘cool’ that can only be attained by a certain hand picked elite.

Terms like this are often made popular by celebrities (side-eye Drizzy). As a result of their level of influence, people adopt these terms and attitudes without a flinch. My question is, do we ever stop and question the status-quo bandwagon that we are so quick to jump on? Or do we need to certify our ‘cool’ by being early adopters who then can be admired by others?

The notion of separating self from the majority at the expense of others disturbs me. Perhaps I have never been ‘cool’ let alone ‘cool enough’, so I don’t quite understand the benefits. The reason why I don’t like it is because purporting to be better than someone else – be it coz you are better connected, more educated, more beautiful, more successful, more fashionable, wealthier than or simply because of an attitude one has – goes against the very grain of who Christ calls us to be. “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” – Romans 12:16

It causes the ‘outcast’ to question their very being, existence, social standing, worth, value, abilities, talents, capabilities and value in this world. One could argue that “they are clearly insecure and need to be more self-confident”. To that I say – as my little bro would put it – “how foolish”.

In this world, no man is an island. Our actions and behaviour have an impact on the lives of others. It is so irresponsible for us to claim “I’m just doing me” when it is at the expense of others. Every action has an effect. So let us not blind ourselves like the rap gods who profess to do as they please. We live in a community – from global to local. Our lives are affected by others, one way or another.

Christ called us to care for one another as brothers and sisters. We cannot be so ig’nant as to disregard other people. I am not saying that we ought to let go of our individuality or need to become best friends with the whole world. Of course not – as humans, we are drawn to like-minded people and we are relational beings. All I am saying is, we need to respect one another and be wary of the way we relate to everyone around us.

This world we live in has become ridiculous. It is filled with ‘influencers, trendsetters, tastemakers’ and all the more. What kind of trends are we setting? Are they fueling greed, covetousness, jealousy or contentment, happiness for others and joy in self?

After all is said and done, we are all equal in the sight of God. When this world comes to an end, it is He whom we will have to answer to. And that, will make all the difference.

“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellow-man has fulfilled the law.”

Romans 13:8